God is Good

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Around this time a year ago my dad was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and given between a 10 and 20% of survival. The doctors in Panama City didn't have much hope for our family and sent us immediately to the Kirklin Clinic at UAB in Birmingham. After a week of doctors visits, tears, and prayers my dad was officially diagnosed with squamos cell carcinoma in his tongue, throat, and neck. He had two tumors in his neck that were too large to remove with surgery. Many of his lymphnodes were cancerous and a team of 3 doctors decided that he would need radiation, chemotherapy and surgery if he had any chance at surviving. They were hopeful but stressed to our family how serious my dad's disease was. His treatments would take place in Birmingham and my family would have to find somewhere to live and make a new normal in Birmingham for at least the next 6 months. Prayers were answered and a family friend let our family have an apartment in Birmingham the entire time my dad was being treated.Family and friends rallied around us and loved us like we had never known before. God was 100% present and in control in my dad's diagnosis and the forthcoming days. After long days of treatments, my dad was no longer able to eat on his own. He had a feeding tube inserted into his stomach and a chemotheraphy port inserted into his chest. When he could eat, he was on a liquid diet  and barely kept anything down. My dad lost 60 pounds,  a lot of his hair,  all of his taste buds , all of his saliva glands, all of the lymphnodes in one side of his neck, and has and will suffer for the rest of his life with many other side effects from the treatments and this disease. 

I say all of this to say one thing, God is good and God is God no matter what happened or happens to my dad. Though my dad lost all of those things here in his earthly body my family and my father gained so much through my dad's diagnosis and then battle with cancer. We gained love and support and friends we had never known before. We learned that love is not only love when it is easy, love is love when it is hard. We learned that it is okay to have Christmas in a tiny apartment in Birmingham with just the 4 of us and a sick daddy. Broken relationships were healed. Lives were changed. God is so good and loved my family through the most difficult time during our lives and turned what seemed to be the most awful news we ever received into a blessing and true example of HIS grace, unconditional love, mercy and redemption.

So many times throughout the past year, when my dad would get a good report, or he would have a good day, friends would encourage our family by saying God is so good, He is so in control, etc, which is so true! God is so good and so in control and for that my family is so grateful! But what I feel like we all often times forget is that yes God is good when my dad is well, but God is also incredibly good and has an incredible plan even on my dad's rough days. Even on the day he was diagnosed when we didn't have a clue if he would make it God was still so good and so in control. Even if my dad lost or loses his battle to cancer the Father will still be good.

Over the last year the Lord has been so good to my family. He was so good the day my dad was laying on a hospital bed for hours being pumped with IV's after radiation and chemo in the same day. God's plan for our lives are so much bigger than what we see. His plan for His creation is so much more incredible than we personally can fathom. I am beyond grateful for the past year of my life. I am grateful that the Lord has revealed Himself to me and truly shown me how good HE is and how HIS will prevails over all. 

I was recently reading A Sweet and Bitter Providence, by John Piper. Throughout the book several different quotes really spoke to my heart including this one by William Cowper:

"Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for his grace, behind a frowning providence, HE hides a smiling face."

It is so easy to be discouraged and angry when it seems that life has dealt us a hard hand. Throughout the last year there have been many instances where it was just much easier to be sad and discouraged than continue to seek and pursue the God who was allowing my father to suffer and potentially die from this disease. But when I did have those feelings the Lord saved me from them and immediately would remind me of his faithfulness and goodness.

In the last line of his book, John Piper writes, " God is at work in the darkest times - for our good and Christ's glory. He will see to it that the glory of his Son fills the earth and that in Him we find everlasting joy."

I am so grateful that this life is not about me and my wants or desires. God is at work in ALL things using all things to work for the GOOD of those who love HIM ( Romans 8:28). 

God is good and God is God no matter what happens in our lives. Right now my daddy is cancer free. After radiation, chemotherapy and surgery they removed the masses and all current scans show no cancer! Our family is so humbled and grateful that my Father now has a testimony to share with others about the Lord's power and goodness and incredible love. When I asked my dad recently to share with me his thoughts on his cancer he said this ," KJ, getting cancer was one of the best things that ever happened to me. The Lord knew I wasn't living for Him or living into His plan for my life and through cancer he redirected me. I am grateful to Him for that."

I encourage you to remember, no matter what happens, nothing, nothing, nothing can separate you from the love of the Father or change the fact that HE will truly work all things for His good and our joy. Praise the Lord!

In Him